Home Life,  Mental Health

The One Where I Came Back

Oh hello there!

It’s been a while. Okay. It’s been a year. I had a few things on the go.

Like many of you 2020 has been a really challenging and confusing year for me. In retrospect I know that if I had been writing about how I was feeling I would likely have felt good about that. But I didn’t so rather than spend a long time explaining myself or making excuses I am just going to pick myself up and start writing again. So with out further preamble!

At the beginning of 2020 I turned 45. But I don’t need the calendar to tell me I am getting older. I know this because this morning I had to work out the logistics of putting on my underwear.  I feel blessed I didn’t end up on the bed, like a turtle stuck on my back. Trust me, that was a possibility.  This week it is my hips, my left hip to exact. Lately it is my left hip a lot.  When I drive longer than a quick jot, when I walk long distance, lately it has been hurting more than normal. 

The kicker is, of course, that my part time gig is SOOOO physical. Even when I am doing something “easy” I am standing for hours. For the last few months my part time job has been a lot less part time and I feel like my body is telling me it’s too much. I know that there are things I could do to help myself. I could exercise more, build muscles in important areas. I could…loose weight *sigh*. But honestly I am lazy. I would rather make bread, eat bread, sleep or smoke a joint with me free time. Perimenopause has been kicking my butt so I just want to do the things that make me comfortable and happy. Exercise and kale don’t make me comfortable OR happy.

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